You never specified that this venue accepts cash after 11pm

Well, after a long weekend hiatus, I have officially returned from the venue search. True, there were only two contenders, but the venue on the golf course is the clear winner. Check out these photos with the stunning views! I took them while I toured the place.

Look! It has a bar and seating area!

Love the high ceilings...

Here's the dance floor...

This is the banquet space.. it's much larger than this, I swear!

This is downstairs... it has a huge fireplace and seating area.

There's a huge patio deck that wraps around the place. This is the best part - the view!

I made a machine that turns bad thoughts into kittens! ..I'm not sure how I will feed them all

Have you ever brought up a subject that everybody and their meerkat seems to have an opinion on?

I recently brought one up.

The evening was on a fairly innocuous Wednesday this week. I drove an hour and a half west from work to meet my family at the local Perkins. I passed many Perkins on the way there, so I definitely wasn't there for the food or atmosphere, let me tell you! My dad, mom and brother was there.

Besides the awkward and weird relationship I have with my brother (another story for another time), things were going pretty well. I ordered the french dip and a water, and everyone else ordered their favorites. The topic of conversation immediately zeroed in on my impending venue search that was to happen in a few days.

"We need to book something quickly," I remarked.

My mom froze up and pinned me with a disapproving gaze. "You know you have to research many places before you book anything," she responded.

My mom gave me a set budget that she would offer up for the wedding, so that alone was awesome. She had already shot done some of my prior suggestions for the wedding, like breakdancers and a photobooth. Okay, so I was kidding on the breakdancers - but I am sticking to my guns on the photobooth.

I glanced up, midway between dipping my sandwich and taking a bite. I returned her level gaze, a bit affronted. "We don't have much time," I repeated slowly, "Mr. Fox and I don't want to have a wedding later than winter next year. We don't want to wait two summers. Not only that, we have a lot of traveling to do starting in December. We are also moving on January 1st."

"That's your choices," the woman across from me chuffed, "Not mine."

I glared back but didn't say anything. My dad intervened at that point, calling her out. "They need to book a place quickly, I see that. Can't we help them with that?"

My mom seemed to relax a bit, as if somewhat defeated. She slouched in the booth a little. "Fine, but you should keep your options open. I don't want to book the first place you look at."

"It wouldn't be the first place," I added helpfully, "It would technically be the second."

The conversation kept on, going back and forth over the specifics. Mom wanted me to list everything I would need at the wedding, including the prices of each. Great, mom. I guess I'll just call around with the two days I have and write down the rates for the DJ, the photobooth, the cake, the photographer, everything. I can't possibly do this much research in the allotted time, unfortunately, but I am thinking of writing up a guest list on Friday. That might help us at least see how many people would be coming.

My mom can be very contentious when it comes to spending money. She claims I spend too much of it (true at times, not at others). She thinks I'm irresponsible with the green and careless to where it goes. I suppose I should stop sending the Franklins out to the Save the Glaciers fund. Huh. Anyways, she is so far giving me a (literal) run for the money. We would like to get married next year, but we need the time to do it. Getting married during the winter in Minnesota is just asking for it. Waiting another 18 months doesn't really fit with our time frames and where Mr. Fox will see himself career-wise. We have no choice but to go for next year during September or October. If we take our time and look at venues into December, many of the dates during those two months will be filled up. Of the two places we are looking at this Saturday, only a few dates are still open. We need to get in while the going is good, so to speak.

Ah, wedding drama and I'm not even engaged yet. Lovely day!

Once again, life imitates a Wal-Mart product display

AHHHH! Me again. I'm just having one of my off-kilter freak outs. Ok, no, not really. Yes? Ok, good.

We've (my dam and I) have scheduled ourselves to look at two venues this Saturday. One is on a golf course that can only be used by 3M employees or family of 3M employees. My aunt worked for 3M at one point, so she said she'd be happy to sponsor me. Wowwee! I feel like one of those 16 year-old Spud Fest princesses that finally found a sponsor back in my hometown. Well, sort of. I guess there will be dresses, tiaras, makeup and possibly a sash thrown into the mix during the bachelorette party eventually, but we aren't quite there yet.

So, ahem. Venues. Let's get back to that. See how sidetracked I get sometimes? I swear my head isn't screwed on right half the time.

This is the golf course/3M venue:





The other venue is a bit pricier. Yoda (aka my mom) scoped it out earlier and said it was attached to a restaurant. The restaurant is nice, but there just so happens to be pole barns across the street. Meh. Pole barns. Maybe I could rent one of those and start a fire in a barrel to save on astronomical reception hall costs. We can fuel it with a red gasoline tank and roast S'mores as well. Disclaimer: In the event of an inevitable death due to the consumption of fuel-tainted S'mores, I would like to note I am not liable. It was just an idea, I'm not shoving you off the bridge. Sheesh.

This is a picture of the restaurant/banquet center venue:

They kind of look similar, don't they? The restaurant venue has an awesome garden, but the 3M venue is far cheaper and much nicer overall, I think. I can't say that for sure as I haven't been to either yet, but I'll be sure to update when I do get there.

I am hoping to secure the date of 09/10/11 (just because I like the sequence of numbers). The golf course still has that open and the restaurant venue doesn't. The restaurant venue has Oct 1st open, which is a total possibility. Rushing, much?

Next up: Finding the church. This should be interesting since I was baptized Lutheran but confirmed Catholic and the boyfriend was baptized Catholic but switched to Lutheran later. We're hybrids, yay! Together we make 1 whole Catholic and 1 whole Lutheran. Speshul.

I'm one of those people that has never been beaten up so I don't know boundaries

So, venues. Venues, venues, venues. I have venues on the brain. Since I am planning a wedding without being engaged with the full support and knowledge of my boyfriend, I have since sprang forth from the starting block. The kid bought a ring, who need a surprise? Ok, well, a little one revolving around the whole proposal thing wouldn't hurt...

I'm not waiting, I've decided. I can't be. Waiting would be full of the what ifs.

What if he has the ring? ...But I know he does - I was there when he bought it, twice!

What if he won't propose for another 6 months and I'm working myself up? Nope, not worried. The guy can't hold himself back. He's definitely into marriage.

What if he returns the ring? I'm laughing now. He already did, but only because we both agreed it had to happen. Actually, he returned one ring and one diamond since the Helzberg incident. I'm going to refer to it as, "The Helzberg Disaster". Kind of like "The Hindenberg Disaster" except that no one died in a fire. I know it isn't quite PC, but anyone who remembers that incident well probably isn't someone who is likely to be reading online blogs. Just sayin'.

What if I bug him too much about getting engaged and he gets turned off? Honestly, I think he talks about marriage more than I do. I am possibly a deeply troubled individual with many problems, but this is not one of them.

I actually believe that these what ifs are very common for women in the "waiting period" as they call it. Since none of them apply to me and my situation, I'm going to just call this "The Process" and call it good.

In fact, I even have a diagram of a process we use in advertising that resembles the way I am attacking "The Process".


1. Where are we and why are we here? This is a good question. In fact, I think before any couple considers marriage this should be a question that is asked and discussed in depth. Where are you in your relationship? What led you to that point? Mr. Fox and I discussed this from early on, all the way up into the present. When we finally got down to the nitty gritty (mind out of the gutter, please) we had a good discussion about it one night. Turns out, we were both cool with the idea of marriage.

2. Where do we want to be? Consider the stage of your relationship. Are you happy where you are? Is he happy where you are? Would you both be happy to take the next step forward? Are you even ready? If he is happy with your live in girlfriend status and you aren't, move out. He'll either jump on board with the next step or you've single-handedly saved yourself from the misery you'll find either now or down the road. If you are mismatched, it's not your fault. Maybe he'll come around later, just not now. Maybe he won't.

3. How could we get there? If you are mismatched, it's not your fault. Maybe he'll come around later, just not now. Maybe he won't. Only you can make that call. If you are both on the same page like Mr. Fox and I were, great! That means you need to implement something like "The Process" to get the ball rolling. It might as logical as our plan or as simple as dropping hints that you'd like to get there. Don't drop a ton of hints though, guys don't like it. Say that you'd like to get married in the near future once or twice and they'll get the picture. If they don't, you are mismatched in priorities. Refer to the beginning of this paragraph.

4. Are we getting there? So you've told him you would like to get married in the near future. The near future or some equivalent of 6 months passes. How are you doing? Did you discover you were mismatched? Do you already have a ring on your finger? Everyone's definition of the near future is different. Maybe the near future is a year or two years for you, maybe it's the 6 months I already mentioned. Do things at your own speed. If he doesn't work with your timetable, you two are likely mismatched in priorities. If you completed all the steps up to this point and you thought you were both on the same page, he's likely stalling. Make sure his head is facing you when you go through the previous 3 steps. Any attention given to the TV or computer screen likely messed the entire sequence up along the way and you'll have to revert to Step 1 all over again!

I hope this post helps people in the "pre-engagement waiting period". The best advice I can give you is to be a chill, cool chick who doesn't hassle or push your guy. It tends to win their respect or something (don't ask me to get into the male brain, I can't even sort out my own). Until later!

It has finally come full circle - Part 2

I have since arrived back from my 2 hour sojourn to my college town. My mom knows people that work at Kay's Jewelers out there. We walked into the mall and were immediately set to looking at a myriad number of choices. An interesting snippet of conversation between myself, my boyfriend, and the sales manager went like this:

Sales Manager (while taking a random ring out of the display case): "Check this one out."

Me (glances at it briefly): "Too tall."

Boyfriend: "Too tall?"

Me (nodding sagely): "Yeah, too tall. I'll snag it on things."

Sales Manager (dropping his gaze to the display case again): "Well, we have other options..."

Boyfriend (incredulous): "It's an engagement ring. It's supposed to be tall."

Me (turning to pin him with "a look"): "Well, when we go shopping for your ring I'll remember that."

Sales Manager (piping up in a hasty bid for attention): "So here we have a low-profile setting..."


...And thus we went back and forth, back and forth. I must have been the pickiest girl in existence. No, I didn't want a bezel setting. No three stones. I didn't like emerald cut stones either. Forget rings with something lower than 1/2 a carat for a center stone. The sales manager was just about ready to point me to Helzberg across the mall (a fatal move if he had, might I add) when something clicked.

It was something more vintage than I thought I would have liked. It had small pave diamonds on the band and a 5/8ths round diamond for the center. I immediately asked if they had any larger princess cut diamonds in stock, which they did. We ended up buying a 3/4ths princess cut diamond - SI1 clarity and E color. It would be put in to replace the round stone. I also added two tiny natural sapphires to either side of the band to frame the center stone. I have no pictures of it, since Kay's doesn't carry the band online. Maybe it was new, or maybe the Sales Manager kept one like it on hand to mollify finicky shoppers like myself. Honestly, for the prices of diamond rings I should expect him to jet off to Israel so he can go mining for me. After he gets back we'll have a sacrificial ritual involving a goat on top of the jewelery cases in order to welcome the diamond to America.

We ended up getting $1100.00 off the total price of the ring. It's a pretty good bargain for such a nice ring. The largest discount we could get at Helzberg was $525.00, which only occurred after one diamond was returned and the other was on the brink of following suite. It definitely helps to know someone who knows someone who knows someone... kind of like the 6 degrees of separation rule.. but only 2 degrees in my case.

I listed some helpful tips in my last post about looking at rings. For this post, I'll point out yet a few more:

1. Bring someone who knows their stuff or just knows someone! This is a biggie. If you have someone who knows a lot about diamonds or is a preferred customer somewhere, take them with! To do without them is discount suicide! My mom is a preferred customer at Kay's Jewelers in my old college town because she owns what I affectionately call, "The Rock". "The Rock" is very large and rare. Every time she brings "The Rock" in to be re-sized they need to send out any similar stones that they might currently have in their store. Kay has a policy that only one stone the size and quality of my mom's diamond can be in any Kay's Jewelery at any given time. My mom wears a lot of rings and looks like she's big pimpin'. 'Nuff said.
2. Don't be afraid to take your time and shop around. This was our major mistake prior to coming to Kay. I originally saw a band online that I just loved and it just so happened that it came from Helzberg. Be careful. Some people would argue that you should research the jeweler first. Don't buy something from somewhere just because you like that particular ring - what if the dealer is shady? Is it worth it to go through with the purchase knowing you will be having to go back to them every 6 months? Buying from a jeweler is almost like marrying them. You purchase your lifetime warranty and the deal is sealed. You wouldn't marry someone just for their looks, so why would you set yourself up in a partnership with the jeweler just because they have a pretty band? They won't be the last Brad Pitt look-alike out there, you know. If you must have the ring or the band, check around online for other places that carry it. Check reviews of those places. I learned later my initial choice wasn't just at Helzberg. It was carried on eBay and some other online retailers as well. Plenty of fish in the sea, people.

I'd make some kind of sarcastic reference starting with the words, "This reminds me of that one time when..." except we haven't done this yet - Part 1

Ah, back in the saddle. As you know (or may not, depending on how much you read before this post) Mr. Fox and I are currently on the subject of marriage. It isn't official, nor is it nailed down, but there is some kind of unspoken acknowledgment between both of us that we are headed in that direction.

Our first day of ring shopping started Oct 2nd of this month. We went to Helzberg Diamonds first. There was a cathedral band I found online with pave set sapphires laid inside it. I really, really wanted that band. The original band came with a round diamond that was about 3/8ths in size.

Let's stop here for a moment: I want to let everyone know that since the Oct. 2nd experience I know waaaaay more about rings than I ever thought I'd care to know. I should start working for GIA (later explained) at this point. I am not trashing Helzberg, but because of the obstacles that came before us I would like to think that I am somewhat savvy on diamonds by this point. When ring shopping, please be aware of these very important tips:

1. Make sure the diamond will fit the band. If you are looking at a band and thinking of upgrading the stone, use common sense (unlike me). Put simply, do not expect a 1 carat stone to fit into a band that held a 3/8ths stone. This is entirely unrealistic. If the salesperson seems happy to oblige you in this task, ask for the expertise of a jeweler. We lost valuable time and made unnecessary trips because the saleswoman at Helzberg told us a .59 carat kite set princess cut (say that 3x fast!) could fit where a 3/8ths round stone had been. We had the manager call us three days later to tell us the jeweler said it wouldn't physically fit into the band. Bummer.

2. Make sure your diamond is certified. Getting a certified diamond is important to many people. It was to us. The princess cut diamond we had initially selected was certified by IGI. We chose a marquise to fit the band after we were told the princess cut wouldn't work. We brought the paperwork for the new diamond home and immediately noticed a sheet of paper that was to be the "certificate" for it. It was from a place called ABI. I called a Helzberg in Santa Clara, CA since I was CST because they were still open. It turns out ABI is Absolute Brilliance Inc, which is a loose diamond vendor that Helzberg uses. This leads me to my third point.

3. Do not accept "certificates" or papers on diamonds that come from the retailer's in-house diamond vendors. These are not certificates. A diamond retailer's vendor will grade a poor quality diamond as much better than it actually is in order to give the diamond vendor a huge markup in the price of the diamond. This was what happened in the case of our marquise. It was a .66 marquise that had an odd yellow tint with a large, white inclusion (mark) across the top of the gem. It was noticeable to the naked eye. They graded the diamond as an SI1, so technically no inclusions should have been visible to the naked eye. Always, always make sure your diamonds are certified by GIA, AGS, EGL, IGI or HRD at the very least. GIA and AGS are the strictest on their grading while EGL, HRD, and IGI tend to be less so. EGL, HRD, and IGI diamonds are often bought by retailers because they can sell lower quality diamonds for higher prices. For example, if an EGL gemologist will grade a diamond with a color between an H and an I as an H, where GIA would grade it as an I (a more yellow diamond).

4. Do your diamond research before buying. We didn't do this and I wish we had. It would have saved a lot of trouble including the trouble we went to when returning the marquise because of the ABI "certification". We must have gone back to Helzberg at least four times, and we're still in the process of looking.

5. Be patient. You'll be going to a lot of stores and seeing a lot of rings. You might know right away that you found "the one!" like I thought I did, but I am currently without that band and diamond due to a set of circumstances beyond my control. Just relax, and enjoy looking at all the pretty bling bling!

Anyhow, wish me luck for my future searches. I'm hitting up Kay's this weekend, so hopefully this will yield some promising results.

<---------- By the way, this is an example of a bad diamond. Even though large, it's yellow and full of dark spots (birthmarks) you can actually see. Make sure to balance quality and size with your budget. You can always go down in size and up in quality!

Introducing Ms. Fox and Mr. Fox!

Ok, so introductions... hm... I'm never good at these. I always want to make up some crazy story about being born to an Irish midwife during the Great Famine, but then I get a reality check that it isn't 1845 and I'm an American. Since I can't use that as a great background story (era idiosyncrasies and all, you understand), I'll just have to use my own.

My name is Ms. Fox. No, it isn't my real name, but I've never been the one to collect stalkers. Well, no, that isn't true - I had a Foursquare addiction for awhile, but that's another story for another time. Anyways, Ms. Fox is a nickname given to me after Mr. Fox took me see the movie Fantastic Mr. Fox when we first started dating. He resembled the character somewhat, what can I say? Oh, don't worry, Mr. Fox doesn't have Hypertrichosis nor does he eat quickly... it's more on a basis of the character's personality mirroring his. Not soon after that, Mr. Fox began to call me Ms. Fox and the nickname was born.

Mr. Fox and I have been dating for a year this October. I remember the night we met. It was the day before Halloween, and he was the coolest version of Count Chocula that I had ever seen. I was a clever rendition of Toucan Sam, and the rest was the stuff of cereal box legends.

Ok, there I go again - no, that wasn't quite the truth. I wish it was, but it definitely wasn't. We did indeed meet the night before Halloween. That isn't a fabrication. Unfortunately, both of us were in our street clothes while in a trendy bar located in Minneapolis' happening Uptown area. Mr. Fox later admitted that my jacket was big and I looked twice the size I actually was (thank you dear...). I thought he looked tall and gawky. Needless to say, the skies didn't open and I never heard a heavenly chorus upon that first meeting.

We got around to talking anyways. I discovered he had a cat, as did I. He also happened to have many pictures of his cat on his phone ... as did I. At this point, as a single girl, I probably should have questioned the sanity of a man living alone with a cat that he had photographed in every way possible. I think I get a free pass since we girls are arguably nutty like that - we tend to take photos of our pets to the extreme. But, being as I am a special kind of crazy, it wasn't an automatic turnoff. I saw a guy that loved cats. As the night wore on and the topic of expressing a cat's anal glands went south, we decided to exchange numbers. That led to a second date, a third, and ultimately - well, you get the idea. Now here I am, nearly a year from the date we met.

We've been discussing marriage quite seriously the past few months. We are currently in the process of ring shopping, which is an ordeal unlike any I have ever before experienced. He also told me to book a venue for a wedding next year. We aren't even engaged, yet in some ways we are ahead of that. I'll keep you updated at things develop.